Writing has always been one of my primary intellectual outlets. I’m a compulsive thinker. I always question or challenge various ideas or assumptions but never really know how to manage my thought process, which inevitably leads to dwelling, and finally a detached, quasi-comatose state of being (overload, or zombification). Transcribing whatever thoughts or crazy notions that creep into my mind grants me the chance to better define what it is that I believe to be true about the present moment and explore the justification for said beliefs. Writing also helps me recognize how it is that I understand myself in these particular situations. I find that we are sometimes strangers to ourselves, and that we rarely take the time to engage in dialogue with various facets of our inner selves that empower or hinder our growth as people. It’s incredible what you can learn about yourself by simply rereading and reflecting on what you’ve just written. I guess that’s why I carry a notebook with me at all times. Not only do I record my thoughts and reactions to various phenomena, but I also view the opportunity to write as an invitation to mess around with this grand notion of Self.
I tend to keep my thoughts and opinions to myself, unless directly asked what I feel about this particular topic or that specific concept. I have an unnatural fear of telling people what it is that I actually believe about “Topic X” or “Idea #2454-2.” I dread the thought of someone jumping out of a window to escape my nonsensical banter. I also fear being chased out of town by an angry mob brandishing torches and 2x4s with nails in them. I’m kidding. Sort of. Maybe not. Admittedly, I’m also terrified of appearing incompetent. When entering into a conversation, I sometimes question whether or not I possess the intellectual caliber necessary to meaningfully or coherently comment on what’s being discussed. Other times, I really wonder if I have anything interesting to say at all.
This blog then serves as a space in which I can (in a more public fashion) share my reactions to a wide variety of topics. In doing so, I’m attempting to challenge my fears and become more comfortable with opening up about what I think or feel by exploring topics like faith, student affairs, education, meaning, and even relationships (brace yourself for that one, folks). Hopefully some will appreciate this, nod their heads and on occasion say, “Yes, good point.” Others might reject this effort, labeling me as another lonely, desperate-for-attention twenty-something that wants to talk on and on about their problems. I hope that’s not the case, but I can see where these people come from, particularly when our networks are saturated with the complaints of the “ME” generation. In summation, take what you will from this endeavor.
More to come.